Strange Tales from the Deep

Why is it that when celebrities talk about their scuba diving adventures, they seem ignorant about the fundamentals of diving while inevitably describing, with lots of laughter, how they almost died? The latest clueless actor, Paul Rudd, was interviewed on the Late Night show by Seth Meyers on February 14.

Here's their abridged conversation.

Paul: Did I tell you about the time I was scuba diving in Cozumel? I was new to scuba diving, and you're not supposed to fly the next day. Also, when you go below 60 feet or something, you have to decompress for three minutes, or you get something called nitrogen narcosis. And then, if you fly the next day, you can get the bends; you can die, and I came this close to getting an early flight out of Cozumel [the next day].

Seth: Wow, and you think you were full-on going to die if you got on it?

Paul: I know I would have died. I know it.

Seth: Oh my gosh, talk about a dodged bullet.

Paul: It was only because of the flight - we were there, and there was an issue with the plane, so I had to wait a whole day. It was Mexico; there's not a lot of flights, so I had to wait, but I knew I had to get back. It was the championship game - Chiefs versus Bengals. Oh my God, and I'm like, I can't be late to this. My son will never forgive me.

Seth: But meanwhile, he's lucky you did because otherwise, he'd be at the Super Bowl alone because of his dad: Dead in the air.

Paul: Yeah, dead in the air.

Seth: What a crazy story. Real quick, your three favorite things you saw underwater?

Paul: OK, a parrot fish and moray eel ... and then just a body, just floating. I don't know what happened; I don't know who; I didn't follow up on it.

Seth: Did you tell someone?

Paul: I was too freaked out. I didn't say a word, so I was like, "Oh my God, there's just a dead body." Maybe it went deeper than 60 feet; I didn't take the time.

Seth: Maybe he didn't take the class. They were like we want everybody to take the class before they go diving, and that guy was like, "I'm fine."

Paul: Yes, he said I got this. You can breathe. I get it; I use this thing. I'll go up, and I'll be able to breathe again. Nitrogen narcosis knocked him out.

Seth: I mean, obviously, this is not a story he can tell but pretty cool that Paul Rudd was who found him. He'll never know, of course. Thank you so much for sharing these things that never happened.