Regulator Rubbish
Years ago a New Zealand dive instructor working as an electronics technician in Port Moresby asked me to teach his wife how to dive. A wise man, I thought, destined for marital bliss.
She joined one of the courses I was running at the time, did very well and became a certified Scuba Diver. On her very first dive after completing the course she was diving with her husband. They had just reached the bottom when the husband swam up close, and signalled that he had no air and wished to buddy breathe (yes, really that long ago - before octopus/alternate air). The wife was a bit peeved thinking that he was testing her new skills and gave him the finger. However a more frantic set of signals, and a distinct lack of bubbles from her buddy, made her realise that her husband actually could not breathe and needed to share her regulator.
She assumed the position I had taught her, and flawlessly shared her regulator. The husband soon settled down and they made a safe ascent together. At the surface the husband explained that his regulator had suddenly failed, and he could not get any air. He thanked me later for doing a good job teaching his wife, and asked me to look at his regulator to find out the problem.
I stripped the regulator, an original US Divers Conshelf XIV - but I already had a good idea what had gone wrong. The first stage of these regulators has an upstream valve opened by a thin stainless steel pin with a cylindrical knob at one end. If the knob sheered off, the pin could not open the valve and, suddenly, it could not supply air to the second stage. Mostly the problem with these first stages was that the high pressure seat would fail - but if this happened the regulator would provide too much pressure and the second stage would free flow - not nearly as serious a problem.
I did not care for regulators that were not “fail safe”, that is, no matter how they failed you should still be able to breathe. In my dive shop, the Diver’s Den in Port Moresby, I did not sell “diaphragm” first stages as they all in theory (and some in practice) could fail catastrophically. Over the years the pin design has been changed and I have not heard of any diaphragm first stage failing due to a failed pin in many years (let me know if you have).
But I championed the flow-through piston design, which I believe was invented by Scubapro and which is regarded as failsafe and foolproof. They would occasionally whistle, but that was easily fixed with a nylon washer each end of the main spring. I sold Scubapro, Sherwood, Dacor, and Oceanic brand regulators, qualified as a service technician for these brands and guaranteed them personally. Apart from minor adjustments I never had any problems, and lots of satisfied, live, customers.
One of my ex-students asked for an appointment with me in the Diver’s Den to discuss his purchase of a set of Scuba gear. I went through the various brands and their various pros and cons. It took about two hours. At the end of this he thanked me profusely then explained he was off to Singapore next weekend and would be buying his gear there. I informed him that he would not get a better bargain than at the Divers Den, and that I personally guaranteed everything, but gave me that ignorant know-all smile that these kind of idiots have, and left the shop.
A couple of weeks later I was amazed to see his brazen hide back in my shop. He was having trouble putting all his new gear together. I took a look at it and burst into laughter. A scoundrel in Singapore had sold him an old style regulator first stage (old stock) with the small high-pressure connection rather than the latest wide thread (universal now) that was on his pressure gauge. “What should I do Bob?” he whined. Now I am a sweet, kind, forgiving sort of guy - but only after I have had revenge - so I told him - you guess -
(a) Why don’t you go back to Singapore and ask them to exchange it?
(b) Get out of my shop you Dickhead.
(c) Seeing as how you are such a good customer, I have an adaptor here I will give you.
Alas, no prize for the right answer(s).
Believe it or not I still have not got to the point of this month’s Adult Section. Here we go.
I have been diving a lot recently, my very latest expeditions with the self proclaimed World’s Greatest One-eyed, Jewish Underwater Photographer, no less than the esteemed Irvin Rockman. Irvin started diving before it was even invented and is the President for life, infinity and beyond of Underwasser Yidden, a group of profane reprobates who travel to PNG to un-civilise the Natives and promote the traditions of Melbourne Business Society.
Irvin emailed me a couple of months before the trip to seek advice on the purchase of a new regulator. As long as he could get it cheaper than anyone else, money was no object. I no longer have a dive shop, thank Neptune, and provided a short list of two, the most expensive (and very expensive it is in Australia, think Rolls Royce) being the one Irvin Picked. I also advised him to get it from his local dive shop - but alas he had discovered a website that sells them at a huge discount so ordered it from overseas.
We joined the FeBrina for a double cruise of diving for adults, exploring Milne Bay and ending in Rabaul. Just about every dive was completed with exuberant praise for the breathing qualities of the new regulator. Then, half way through the trip, it failed. Irvin turned his tank on to be greeted by loud hissing as Nitrox blasted from the water pressure balance vents in the first stage. The regulator had not failed catastrophically; it could still be breathed from had the failure occurred underwater, but was impossible to dive with. The crew fixed him a spare.
At this time I got a bit excited. I had recommended the regulator; I expected great performance and a long service life for my friend. I did not expect it to fail within 20 dives. I was embarrassed and angry. Someone in the dive industry is losing sight of primary objectives. Diving gear is life support equipment. Regulators have to breathe well and be reliable. What is happening instead is that gear is becoming more complicated, more expensive, technically brilliant (or just plain weird, check out fins.) and totally unreliable.
Toyota just managed to do exactly that with its cars - wonderful performance as long as you do not mind accelerators sticking and brakes failing.
Irvin now has to send his regulator away to USA to get fixed. It would have been easier for him if he had purchased it from his local store, perhaps even less expensive in the long run, and of course it is much more fun to abuse someone in person.
A couple of years ago my trusty old fins cracked so I bought a new pair made by the same manufacturer. They had fancy quick release straps and were a bit stiffer than my previous pair. Within 6 months the fancy clips had broken, the foot pockets were splitting and my legs were tired. I took them back to my local store, Tusa Dive in Cairns where the professional and very knowledgeable manager Dave acknowledged the problem, and replaced them with a pair of my original fins brand new that he had managed to find in a forgotten corner of the store - relegated to that position as the clips and straps had been removed. I had plenty of fin clips and straps, my problem was over - what’s more they are gorgeous yum-yum yellow, perfect for attracting sharks and they match my buddy Irvin Rockman’s. We are the boys in yellow fins.
Another thing, if you work on dive boats you are setting yourself up for workers comp with weight integrated BCs. I hate them. They make tanks too heavy for the crew to lift. I also hate those stupid harnesses where the strap breaks free from its Velcro fastening and flaps around behind the diver. Amateur hour. Not long ago my 15 year-old snorkel disintegrated, but my new snorkel nearly drowned me with a faulty valve. I sucked more water than air and that was in flat calm conditions. Something is wrong with the world.
Here is my message is to the dive manufacturers. Cut the Crap. Go back to the basics, make us gear that works and is reliable. You make it; why not try using it sometime?
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Bob,
Let’s be more magnanimous! It was surviving a failing upstream regulator at depth that made me write my first piece for Diver Magazine and eventually transformed my career from a highly paid Advertising Creative to an impoverished diving hack. (..but I’m so much happier…sob!)
Bob,
Now I understand why I miss the “old day’s” of diving so much. (I’ve been diving for 30 yrs). It was simpler! I got to admit, the wetsuits are sure a lot better now.
Bob,
Seems that manufacturers that I used to know and “love” have changed. Is it true that Scubapro no longer manufactures sturdy, dependable equipment? How about Atomic (they’re “new” in my experience)? Having turned 80, I own equally ancient equipment, including a Dacor regulator whose second stage fell apart in my mouth during my last Raj Ampat trip and my BC is threadbare. Of course I’ll check my local shop but I’m a bit out of the loop, so am looking for the most reputable brands.
As a card carrying curmudgeon, I miss the training days when students learned to face controlled problems and become comfortable. Local courses at the Y are half their former length. This worries me.
Bob Halstead, as usual, pulls no punches. And he is spot-on about his criticisms. Boiled down to its essence, the era of diving manufacturers being run by actual divers is virtually gone. Of the majors, only Oceanic (Bob Hollis) and Atomic (Doug & Dean) are companies that I know of where design, ergonomics, function, and reliability are tested and dictated by the owner(s). The rest of the major manufacturers are run by accountants and other constipated tight-assed “businessmen” who think they know how to run a diving company… but only get their hair wet in the shower.
Dick Bonin (Scubapro founder) was forced out by the morons at Johnson Outdoors in 1991. When they bought UWATEC (I was the Vice President and CEO) in 1997 for over $40 million, they alienated my entire senior management, engineering, design, and sales force by their idiotic attempts to administrate a technical manufacturing company when they had no earthly idea of diving, procedures, decompression models, and how our computers and instrumentation worked. Almost all key staff around the world left… and went to work for competitors. Johnson then took two of the best lines in diving history and ran them into the toilet. Customer service, warranties, innovative design, etc. all went out the window. I was glad to get my contract bought out and rid of them after three more years. Did their starched shirt “businessmen” effect a big profit-making turnaround? No! A quick review of their Johnson stock performance (it’s a public company) will show that their management has been a disaster. With Bonin at Scubapro and my team at UWATEC we always made profits and led the industry in innovation and customer satisfaction. Sure, we all got a huge payday when we were bought out (thank you very much!), but we also lamented the erosion of two great brands under the “leadership” of our successors and their revolving door of inept yo-yos… who wouldn’t know a BC from their pee-pee.
Diving needs actual divers to lead all elements of the industry. Most of them are gone and I don’t see anyone stepping up to the task with the current players. So do your homework before buying and caveat emptor.
Your description of a regulator failure reminded me of a new out of the box US Divers Aquamatic regulator. As a Navy diver we used at that time only double hose regs and the Aquamatic was one of the first single hose regs availiable. Our submarine the SS525 was in Gitmo Cuba for routine operations and doing a Rusky watch.
Went to the exchange and they had a Aquamatic for sale, which I purchased. Went back to the boat, took it out of the box hooked it up to my single 72. Took the gear and went to the pier side for a test dive of the Aquamatic. A fellow sailor and friend pushed me to let him try the reg first. So I let him, he jumped into the water and immediately came up, saying it doesn’t work! Checked out the system all hooked up and on! Took the reg apart and the nut on the second stage that adjusted the travel of the operating shaft between the two flappers and the diphram had backed off. This nulled the movement of the shaft so the diaphram movement didn’t allow for any air flow.
The nut had not been fixed in place after factory adjustment. I assume the preliminary surface breathing test allowed it to back off. I put the reg in it’s box abd never used it or repaired it. Still have it, probably good for parts.
Hmmmm…I think I’m going to buck the trend here & state that my 10 year-old Apeks TX50 certainly outperforms my near forty year-old Calypso IV; in fact, after a 10-year hiatus from scuba ( I became a professional oilfield diver via hardhat & umbilical ), the improvements in scuba gear upon my return were nothing less than remarkable! I’m a cold-water diver mostly, thus my first experience with dry gloves was near orgiastic! And what’s this…pee valves! Awesome! Dry suits that would easily accomodate my tux underneath, allowing for “Bond-like” transitions to dockside casinos. There may indeed be a managerial disconnect at some manufacturers, but this cat is happy in his current fur…it’s near purrrrrrrfect!
Best Fishes,
DSD
May we all have a long life and wish Irvin’s family all the best following his passing today. A character, a friend indeed…and may he enjoy all the seas and adventures beyond.
Hi, just stopped by doing some research for my Dacor site. Can’t believe the amount of information out there. Not quite what i was looking for, but good site. Have a good day.
Many thanks for the information, now I will not commit such error.
I dive with my wife, she had been diving for years, we practice taking our masks off and out of air practices when we do our saftey stops just in case these things happend on a dive, I guess I am lucky as I have the same dive partner all the time.
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