Comments on: Fortress America: Heightened Security for Flights to the USA

By: Paul Beckett

Paul Beckett — Thu, 27 May 2010 10:03:12 +0000

Just got back from the Cayman islands and because of the BA strike I had the most unpleasant experience of having to pass through the armpit of the worlds most unpleasant airports - “Miami”. The TSA Security staff are all gun toting inbred yokels with the IQ of the exterior of an afghan cave in midwinter. They made us go through 3 lots of shoes and belt off exercises. Once on the way in, once for the usual measure and another one for the fact that somewhere in Venezuela hasn’t got the same security procedures as the USA????? WTF?!

And then when I tried to transfer my baggage from AA to BA to come home they go and lose my luggage and all my dive gear. Pathetic!

This whole experience has tarred my entire view of America and will avoid visiting there, like I might try to avoid catching a dose of Ebola Brahma.

Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

By: Bret Gilliam

Bret Gilliam — Sat, 15 May 2010 00:07:57 +0000

Lordy, Lordy… Bantin has truly opened the mother lode of TSA anecdotes and the list keeps growing. My favorite so far is “Bob” who had to endure assembling his camera gear in the housing and then demonstrating its operation, only to be reprimanded for taking photos in the security area. Is there no end to TSA inanity and nonsense? I mean, would let these idiots house-sit for you or even walk your dog?

Here’s two valuable piece of advice if you actually get “body cavity searched” with the full rubber glove treatment:

1. Never, ever say, “Oh Baby, that’s the spot!”

and

2. Never tip the TSA gloved agent more than $10 following the probe.

Rating: 5.0/5 (1 vote cast)

By: Jim Rogers

Jim Rogers — Thu, 06 May 2010 04:33:24 +0000

Coversation at security: “Sir, what is this” “It is an underwater camera housing” What are all these buttons” “They operate the Camera in the housing” ” Do they come out” “No” ” Please assemble this and show us it in operation” So I pull out my camera and assemble it in the housing. While doing all of this the continue to go through my bag. So I assemble the camera and turn it on and snap off a shot and show it to the TSA brain trust at the gate. “Sir that is a security violation you are not allowed to take photos of the security area” ” Ma’am you instructed me to assemble the camera in the housing and show you it’s operation, I was just complying with your direction” ” Sir are you getting smart with me” “No Ma’am just trying to comply” “Sir what is this” ” That is the housing tray and strobe support arms” ” They assemble to the Camera” ” Yes Ma’am” ” Please assemble and show us the operation” ” I will assemble it but do you really want to see the operation again” ” Sir are you getting smart with me ” ‘No Ma’am”. So I assemble the camera , tray strobe arms and strobes. “I am finished” ” ” That looks like some thing from Mars, show us the operation” ” Okay” So bam, I hit the button, My two DS-51’s fire like the sun, this woman almost falls over herself in suprise. It was all I could do not to roll over in laughter. “Sir I told you not to take photographs in here” Now I am getting pissed. “Lady, I assembled the camera as instructed and I asked you if you really wanted to see it operate and you asked me if I was getting smart with you, so following your direction I operated the camera” ” Sir please disassemble and put it back in your bag and step over here” So I tear it all down and put it back in the bag. ” Sir you have been selected to have a full body scan so empty your pockets and step into the booth, your ticket and passport are to be placed in your shirt pocket.” So I get in the “nekked” machine and get radiated. Step out and get “Sir step over here and raise your arms” So I do and get the “Complete” touchy feely body wand job. I am now free to go but I had to ask. ” I am not being a smart ass but I thought the full scan monitor was suppose to eliminate the body wanding and speed up the process” ” Well it normally does but you had something in your shirt pocket.” God I love Houston International.

Rating: 5.0/5 (2 votes cast)

By: Bob

Bob — Wed, 05 May 2010 20:32:26 +0000

I have had very similar experiences, particularly with the lack of training and consistency of the TSA agents. I generally carry a back pack on board with my Notebook Computer, a couple of dive computers, a regulator rig, digital camera housing and perhaps 1 to 3 dive lights including a sinister looking canister light. I know – thats a lot of weight for an old guy like me, but …
I generally tell the screener that my pack is full of SCUBA gear. Some of the screeners say ok and you can tell they have no idea what you are talking about but they let the bag go through with no questions. Others seem to have a fair idea what they are looking at and let it go through with few if any questions. Then there are the ones who pull out and examine each piece, have me turn lights on, remove batteries, activate computers and then do an explosives test on some of the least likely components.
Then there is the checked baggage checkers – I have been paged and sent to TSA baggage screening to remove batteries from a dive light (they had already taken the light out of my bag and determined it had batteries in it but were unwilling (unable) to remove the batteries themselves rather than risk delaying the flight, waiting for me to get there, remove the batteries and get back to the gate – note, this happened in Maui, HI where they see LOTS of divers. Same place that showed the least experience with my carry on back pack.
Also of interest is how often they open my checked bags. I have found that when I put TSA locks on my bags the frequency of opening is less than when I do not. Also, they are more likely to open the bags which just have clothing in them rather than my dive bag which has all sorts of odd looking stuff in it – strange and sad, but true.
Bob

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)

By: Dee Wescott

Dee Wescott — Wed, 05 May 2010 01:10:29 +0000

I am interested that you also had a cable tie confiscated because you MIGHT ‘tie up’ the cabin crew with it. I thought I was the only one! Mine was confiscated by Quantas… it was about 1mm wide and maybe as much as 120mm long. I did try to figure out which of the flight crew was small enough to have that matter. Actually the flight crew (who got a huge giggle out of the story) suggested that I would tie them up 2 fingers or 2 toes at a time.
As far as TSA agents go, ‘Ya gets what ya pays for!’

Rating: 0.0/5 (0 votes cast)