Comments on: Real Diving for Women http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/2009/11/22/real-diving-for-women/ Diving opinions from top diving experts in the dive industry Thu, 24 May 2012 23:31:34 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7.1 hourly 1 By: Bret Gilliam http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/2009/11/22/real-diving-for-women/comment-page-1/#comment-429 Bret Gilliam Sun, 13 Dec 2009 00:45:20 +0000 http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/?p=486#comment-429 Bantin, you depraved degenerate! There are several books (and tens of thousands of X-rated DVDs) that will help explain the problem you are having understanding the mating process. Although I had heard from credible sources (and my own observations of you in a Speedo) that your diminutive organ size precluded sexual congress with all but the likes of pygmy seahorses... obviously, when angered, the "half a roll of Lifesaver Mints" you carry around amidships must somehow inflate like a zeppelin on hydrogen. I counsel that you immediately take refuge in any monastery that will have you on the next occasion of arousal. Be sure to call me when you leave so I can rush over to "console" Farzi and ease her through your absence. That's what friends are for. You can count on me. Bantin, you depraved degenerate! There are several books (and tens of thousands of X-rated DVDs) that will help explain the problem you are having understanding the mating process. Although I had heard from credible sources (and my own observations of you in a Speedo) that your diminutive organ size precluded sexual congress with all but the likes of pygmy seahorses… obviously, when angered, the “half a roll of Lifesaver Mints” you carry around amidships must somehow inflate like a zeppelin on hydrogen. I counsel that you immediately take refuge in any monastery that will have you on the next occasion of arousal. Be sure to call me when you leave so I can rush over to “console” Farzi and ease her through your absence. That’s what friends are for. You can count on me.
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]]> By: John Bantin http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/2009/11/22/real-diving-for-women/comment-page-1/#comment-428 John Bantin Sat, 12 Dec 2009 09:10:19 +0000 http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/?p=486#comment-428 Dear Bob, You are obviously an expert on this subject so please give me advice. Farzi was the best underwater buddy/model/camera-assistant/diving gear setter-upper I ever had. In the pace of a couple of years, we had produced a prolific amount of saleable underwater imagery that today still forms the backbone of my library. However, as a side effect she started producing babies. Where do they come from and how can I stop it? The first was 13 years-old the other day and has already demanded her own Macbook. The second is not far behind. Is history repeating itself? I am now democratically outnumbered in my house and than God we have four bathrooms. Dear Bob,
You are obviously an expert on this subject so please give me advice.
Farzi was the best underwater buddy/model/camera-assistant/diving gear setter-upper I ever had. In the pace of a couple of years, we had produced a prolific amount of saleable underwater imagery that today still forms the backbone of my library. However, as a side effect she started producing babies. Where do they come from and how can I stop it? The first was 13 years-old the other day and has already demanded her own Macbook. The second is not far behind. Is history repeating itself? I am now democratically outnumbered in my house and than God we have four bathrooms.
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]]> By: Bret Gilliam http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/2009/11/22/real-diving-for-women/comment-page-1/#comment-426 Bret Gilliam Fri, 11 Dec 2009 23:07:50 +0000 http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/?p=486#comment-426 I am back on to post a humble retraction to Bob Halstead. When he saw my original comment about Real Diving for Women, he immediately emailed me from Australia (where he was engaged in ritual sodomy with a kangaroo...) to let me know that this was indeed a humor piece that was originally printed with great photos that made that abundantly clear. The fact that Undercurrent does not include photos with our articles did not reveal that his tongue was "firmly in cheek". He gallantly noted that he meant no offense and that women, after kangaroos, are some of his dearest friends. So, I offer my own apology for misinterpreting this old sage's perspective. For those who might have taken offense, email him at bob@halsteaddiving.com and get him to send you the original as a PDF with the photos. Good on ya, mate! I am back on to post a humble retraction to Bob Halstead. When he saw my original comment about Real Diving for Women, he immediately emailed me from Australia (where he was engaged in ritual sodomy with a kangaroo…) to let me know that this was indeed a humor piece that was originally printed with great photos that made that abundantly clear. The fact that Undercurrent does not include photos with our articles did not reveal that his tongue was “firmly in cheek”. He gallantly noted that he meant no offense and that women, after kangaroos, are some of his dearest friends. So, I offer my own apology for misinterpreting this old sage’s perspective. For those who might have taken offense, email him at bob@halsteaddiving.com and get him to send you the original as a PDF with the photos. Good on ya, mate!
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]]> By: Bret Gilliam http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/2009/11/22/real-diving-for-women/comment-page-1/#comment-425 Bret Gilliam Fri, 11 Dec 2009 21:32:19 +0000 http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/?p=486#comment-425 Well, I think this is the only thing I've ever seen Bob Halstead write that was off the mark. It's likely going to offend a lot of lady divers and they will blister him with indignant retorts. I have to say that some of the best, most capable, most reliable, and trustworthy dive companions I have had over the last 40 years or so have been women, particularly as photo assistants and models. They watch my back, pay attention to the dive details so I can concentrate on the camera side of things, and alert me to photo opportunties that I might miss when my face is glued to the camera viewfinder. All in all, I owe a huge debt to their patience and perseverance that has enabled me to get images that would have been impossible without their help. So I'm going on record to thank Lois Leonard, Lina Hitchcock, Lynn Hendrickson, Cathryn Castle, and my wife Gretchen for their gracious indulgence in putting up with me and my obsessive-compulsive underwater zeal to get "the shot" at any cost. But somehow I have to believe that Bob made a conscious choice to provoke the fair gender... just to see what might happen in response. Otherwise, I'm guessing that he is currently holding an ice-pack to his black eye... from a blow that his charming wife Dinah administered. Bob, I love ya... But I think you got this one wrong. Just be glad that Dinah whacked you with her hand. Tiger Woods' wife used a 9-iron golf club on him when he screwed up recently. Well, I think this is the only thing I’ve ever seen Bob Halstead write that was off the mark. It’s likely going to offend a lot of lady divers and they will blister him with indignant retorts. I have to say that some of the best, most capable, most reliable, and trustworthy dive companions I have had over the last 40 years or so have been women, particularly as photo assistants and models. They watch my back, pay attention to the dive details so I can concentrate on the camera side of things, and alert me to photo opportunties that I might miss when my face is glued to the camera viewfinder. All in all, I owe a huge debt to their patience and perseverance that has enabled me to get images that would have been impossible without their help. So I’m going on record to thank Lois Leonard, Lina Hitchcock, Lynn Hendrickson, Cathryn Castle, and my wife Gretchen for their gracious indulgence in putting up with me and my obsessive-compulsive underwater zeal to get “the shot” at any cost.

But somehow I have to believe that Bob made a conscious choice to provoke the fair gender… just to see what might happen in response. Otherwise, I’m guessing that he is currently holding an ice-pack to his black eye… from a blow that his charming wife Dinah administered.

Bob, I love ya… But I think you got this one wrong. Just be glad that Dinah whacked you with her hand. Tiger Woods’ wife used a 9-iron golf club on him when he screwed up recently.

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]]> By: Lala http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/2009/11/22/real-diving-for-women/comment-page-1/#comment-406 Lala Mon, 30 Nov 2009 02:31:26 +0000 http://www.undercurrent.org/blog/?p=486#comment-406 I wasn't offended here, just more at a loss--I never realized just how disjointed a blog entry could be. This appears to be some sort of trip report mixed with a poorly crafted jab/slam/attempt to be funny directed at women. Which is what made it so funny. 1. I love all manner of female "girly" crap, and am damn proud of it. I may or may not have pink fins. Deal with it;) 2. I give respect, schlep my own gear (and handbag) and expect it in return. These two things are not mutually exclusive. I wasn’t offended here, just more at a loss–I never realized just how disjointed a blog entry could be. This appears to be some sort of trip report mixed with a poorly crafted jab/slam/attempt to be funny directed at women. Which is what made it so funny.

1. I love all manner of female “girly” crap, and am damn proud of it. I may or may not have pink fins. Deal with it;)
2. I give respect, schlep my own gear (and handbag) and expect it in return.

These two things are not mutually exclusive.

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